I'll be honest—when I first downloaded a dating app, I had no idea what I was doing. I swiped right on people I barely glanced at, sent one-word openers, and sometimes ghosted matches without a second thought. It wasn't that I meant to be rude—I just didn't understand that dating apps have their own set of unspoken rules. Fast forward to now, after plenty of trial and error (and some embarrassing mistakes), I've learned what really makes a good impression on dating apps—and what definitely doesn't.
So, whether you're a seasoned swiper or just getting started, here's my take on the essential do's and don'ts of dating app etiquette.
1. DO Take Time With Your Profile
First impressions matter—and on dating apps, your profile is your first impression. I used to throw up a random selfie and call it a day. Big mistake.
Your photos should reflect who you are, not just what you look like. Include a clear headshot, a full-body picture, and maybe one that shows you doing something you enjoy. If you're into hiking, pets, or cooking, let that show.
As for your bio, keep it light but informative. Mention what you're into, what you're looking for, and add a little humor if that's your style. Avoid clichés like “I love to laugh” or “Just ask.” If someone can't get a sense of you from your bio, they'll probably swipe left.
2. DON'T Start With a Boring Opener
I've been guilty of sending “Hey” and expecting a conversation to magically unfold. It rarely does.
A better approach is to start with something specific. If someone mentions they love Thai food, ask about their favorite dish. If they have a dog in their picture, ask what its name is. Show that you've paid attention, and that you're interested in more than just their looks.
And please, no pick-up lines—unless they're funny and clearly ironic. Humor is great, but try not to come off as cringey or sleazy.
3. DO Respect Boundaries and Time
One of the biggest turn-offs I've experienced is when someone tries to rush things—pushing for a phone number too soon, or asking overly personal questions within minutes of matching.
Take your time. Let the conversation build naturally. If someone's being slow to respond, don't take it personally or guilt them. We're all juggling life outside the app.
Also, consent is everything. Don't send suggestive messages or photos unless you're 100% sure the other person is into it. If you're not sure—just don't.
4. DON'T Ghost Without Reason
Look, I get it—sometimes the vibe just isn't there. But if you've had a meaningful conversation or even gone on a date, don't just disappear. It's okay to say, “Hey, I don't think we're a good match, but I wish you the best.” It might feel awkward, but it's so much better than leaving someone in the dark.
I've been ghosted before, and it sucks. That uncertainty lingers. A little honesty goes a long way, and it shows maturity and respect.
5. DO Be Yourself (Really)
It's tempting to present a polished version of yourself online. I've definitely been tempted to round up my height, gloss over my quirks, or say I'm “casual” when I actually want something serious.
But here's the thing—if you're pretending to be someone you're not, any connection you build won't be real. Be upfront about what you're looking for. Whether it's a long-term relationship or just good conversation, honesty saves time and hurt feelings.
And yes, use real, recent photos. If you meet someone in person and you don't look like your pictures, you've started things off with a lie. Not a great foundation for trust.
6. DON'T Overdo It With Messages
There's a balance between being eager and being overwhelming. I once sent four messages in a row because I was excited—and then didn't hear back. Lesson learned.
Give people time to reply. If someone doesn't answer right away, it doesn't mean they're not interested. They might be at work, with family, or just need time to think.
On the flip side, if you're always the one initiating, and you're getting one-word replies, that's probably a sign to move on.
7. DO Move Off the App (When It Feels Right)
Eventually, if the conversation is flowing and the chemistry seems real, move things off the app. I usually wait until I've had a few good exchanges before asking for a phone number or suggesting a video call.
And when you do plan to meet, always do it in a public place. Safety first—for both of you.
8. DON'T Take Rejection Personally
Rejection is part of the game. Not every match is going to turn into something meaningful, and that's okay.
I used to get really down when someone unmatched or never responded. But now, I try to view dating apps as a numbers game—it's about finding the right person, not getting everyone to like me.
So don't beat yourself up. Keep your confidence intact. The right person will appreciate you for you.
9. DO Keep an Open Mind
Some of the best connections I've had came from people I wouldn't have “picked” based on a checklist. Age, height, job—all of that matters less than how someone makes you feel.
Be open to surprises. Give people a chance. You never know who might exceed your expectations.
10. DON'T Treat It Like a Game
Yes, swiping can be fun. But behind every profile is a real person with hopes, insecurities, and dreams—just like you.
It's easy to fall into the trap of using dating apps for validation or boredom. But if you genuinely want to meet someone, treat people with respect and sincerity. That's how real connections happen.
Final Thoughts
Dating apps can feel like a jungle, but with the right etiquette, they're a powerful tool for connection. Over time, I've come to see them less as a game and more as a way to practice authenticity, communication, and kindness.
Making a good impression doesn't mean being perfect—it means being thoughtful. Be curious, be honest, and be respectful. That's what will set you apart.
Please note that this article may contain affiliate links, and the opinions shared are based on my personal experiences and perspectives.
